I dunno what happened to me in my life. I used to be a good-looking, naive, good-natured guy, who had the world by the ass. I had such dreams when I was in my teenage years to my twenties.  I had it all, but never used it. Friends? Sure, I had some really solid friends when I grew up. I could count on them for almost anything. They would call me up, to include me in things, or just to talk.

Now a days, I am hitting 38 going to 40. People my age are either married, divorced with or without kids. Many people have baggage. I find myself single. I always feel that I am on the outside looking in when it comes to being around people, and friendships. It’s sad, because I feel that I am a nice guy, who has just been beaten up a little by time. I don’t date because I feel that I am not good looking enough and or mature enough to fulfill a woman’s needs. So I remain alone and single. The only thing I have is my job, and my hobbie (photography). I suppose if I will be single, and unable to find or earn solid friendships, then I will have my creative hobby.

The numbness and emptyness of not being included in things with people sometimes hurts. It’s funny, not feeling something  can hurt just as much. Anyway, at least I have my creative hobby.