Well in late November 2011, my body decided to play a trick on me. I was working, and I noticed my scalp and forhead starting grow blisters and burn..I remember it was a Sunday, and when looking in the mirror at work, I saw that my scalp was beat red..and very painful and hot. I do wear a CPAP machine to help me breath while sleeping and thought I did not wash the headgear correctly and got a bad case of staff, or mersa. I was embarrassed. The photos in this post are from November 26th, 2011.

I went home early and told my supervisor that I would like the next day off. I went home and showered. I washed my head and hair with a diluted bleach solution in a silly way I thought this would kill the mersa or staph bacteria. Needless to say I had a very clean scalp. So I packed some lotion on my head and went to bed.

The next morning, I woke up and my right eye was hurting as if it was punched, and when I blinked my right eye, it burned. Ok, now I was freaking out. I went to the nearest hospital ER. Anyway long story short. The doctor told me I had Shingles. The worse pain ever..I cannot begin to say how unbelievably painful it is.. I packed my head in calamine lotion for 5 days and did not dare touch my head and forehead.

I got anti-viral pills and took them. Also had a eye check done. I found that my left eye was a little weaker than my right one. Other than that perfect vision. No effect from the Shingles.

This started on November 20th..and now its December 7th. I took all my anti-viral pills and well. I still feel a bit bad. The burning is gone, but I still have the scars on my forehead and probably my scalp. It still feels like someone whacked me in the head with a 2×4. My eyes have a little pain.. I am just miserable still. I am quite depressed at what my body has become. I used to be such a good looking guy…age has just really degraded my appearance and probably my health. Tonight I write this and I want to say I am pretty damn depressed. Check out my ugly face…ugh. I hate this. I hate myself and how I look.

Well, I have been thinking about putting future posts on a new domain with a newer type of wordpress structure…My alternate website is www.wreckageyears.com Not sure what I mean by “Wreckage Years”.. Possibly years of strange times, things I tried and failed at. Or maybe because I like taking photos of “rust and wreckage”..things like abandoned things and places that are just rusting away…maybe some of my dreams have already rusted and are in the state of decay..not sure. Anyway the Wreckage Years website has a more full-page type of format. I wanted to show more of my photos off..and will be trying to write “smarter” with more feeling and thought.

Well it’s October 2011, and my summer trip to the American southwest did not happen. I could not swing a trip this year because I had to move. Currently in the Chi-town area, and things are tight. Hell, it’s a bad economy and there are many that are in worse shape than me. Some people, college-educated with more advanced degrees than I are out of work and have been for some time.

Oh well, I suppose I will just hang around my new place, and possibly plan for next year in the desert. It’s a shame we have to rely on the almighty dollar to have some leverage to actually do the things we want to do. Some people think money are things, I feel money is time…free time to do the things you actually want to do and not to waste time doing things for an employer. However I am employed at an important job, the job doles out crumbs to me each two weeks. Another thing that I have learned in life is that you have to have something to do. You must keep active and do something or you will go crazy and depressed. So I work…like my father before me (a very hard worker). It would be nice to make a living at something creative, however you have to be very talented, and have something unique to offer the creative world to make a living at that idea.

So I sit here, and dream…hmm damn..have to go..time for work :-)

Anyway, I do like this location because of the nice, old stone work, and the exposed brick insides of the church and attached school building. In my opinion, it’s the perfect place for HDR photos (High Dynamic Range). The textures of the chipped stone work, and exposed brick walls make for some excellent and sometimes  creepy-looking shots.

My past with my many trips to Seattle, Detroit, Windsor, Grand Forks, Sydney, and Juarez are faded. I still remember the horrible thoughts I was having at the times I left Chicago. They are gone now, certain things have changed me. I can’t help but feel that there will be unexplained things in my past when I left Chicago. It’s a part of the present me.

For the most part I am happy, I am not doing exactly what I want for a job, however the job I have now is an important one. I deliver blood and blood products to Chicago-area hospitals. It does not pay alot, but it keeps a few dead presidents in my wallet and a few in my checking account. I am very fortunate in these horrible economic times to even have a job! Many even more highly educated people are still on unemployment and have been for awhile.

On thing that sticks in my craw is that while on a photography road trip, I happened in a horrible town of Clinton, Iowa. I got a little drunk, and repeatedly asked the bartender for another beer. I was a little bit of a smart ass, and the female bartender’s large male friends threatened me with physical violence. The cops came, and this horrible Clinton, Iowa police officer, Officer Sattler told me to get my things and go. I was looking at his chest to see his badge number, he retorted “What are you lookin’ at my gun for”! Anyway, I was frivolously arrested for muttering under my breath basically. Even though Officer Sattler referred to his weapon, and used that reference to intimidate me..or who knows what he ment by referring to his firearm. Only Officer Sattler knows exactly what he was thinking. Sattler arrested me for three words spoken under my breath. After I hired a Clinton, Iowa attorney, my attorney said that Officer Sattler was considered by many in the area as a “problem officer”. So now thanks to that lovely Officer William Sattler of Clinton, Iowa…I now have one misdemeanor  in the US . Personally my thoughts of Officer Sattler’s conduct, about how he pretty much threatened me with his gun, and his impulsive nature of arresting me, and how they all teased me saying I was an “inmate” and a “convict” while I was in the Clinton, Iowa jail….made me think that Officer Sattler’s punishment for me was to mark me for life. I wonder how many people Officer Sattler needlessly arrested and marked for life.. Then again, there is a bigger power that can decide that. Officer William Sattler of Clinton, Iowa is a total bag of puss of a human.

Anyway, I am a man who has never went out of his way to cause anyone any harm, so I leave the nonsense with that jerk, over reacting officer to this…..we all reap what we sow. I know that I would never go out of my way to mess up another person, but well..I think I am the better man after all is said and done.

Anyway, here is to 2011. One more year before the end of the world.

I suppose if anything, I will just wait until I have enough PTO (Paid Time Off) from my job, and go out west again. Like someone in my family says “You can’t eat steak everyday”. In otherwords, I love steak, but having it every day would make me sick of it. In life we can’t always be 100% happy. I think that we are only on this earth for a short while and we must suffer and struggle a bit. Then again what do I know..bleh.

I am depressed though at spending the next few months during the winter working and just having to weather the cold, sleet, snow, and salt that will be on the streets of Chicagoland. If I did not have to work, I would be using my time for traveling North America, mostly the southwest and photographing old, western ruins and other rustic settings like old Spanish missions etc..etc.. Building up my photo collection of interesting scenes in the American Southwest would be one thing on my list.

Anyway, I sit here behind my computer monitor and feel a bit bittersweet over the photos and memories of my last vacation along Route 66. I managed to go from Chicago to Barstow, California this last summer before maxing out my credit card which made me decide to turn back for home. I loved the Mojave desert and taking route 66 out to Amboy, California.

Anyway a few selected and (enhanced via Adobe Photoshop) photos of my last two trips along Route 66. The Mother Road.

My stop in Seligman, was very relaxed, friendly fun. It is a great memory for me, and I hope to remember it until next time I venture out west.

Here is the owner of the the great, little, route 66 shop in his own words about the America of yesteryear.